RETROGAMING COMMERCIAL VAULT

by Adam King

Greetings, gamers! This is a special edition of the 'Vault because it marks the second anniversary of this fine column. I planned to do something to commemorate it, but I decided to just write it like I always do.

Before I do, I need to make a correction. During my review I mistakenly said the voiceover sounded like Groucho Marx. However Tim Snider said that the voiceover was actually comic legend Henry Youngman, the same that that supposedly coined the "Take my wife! Please!" one liner. Anyway thanks for the info, Tim.

Anyway, this month I'd decided to feature two ads for three games, all for the Colecovision. First is an ad for Time Pilot and Mr. Do, and second is the Smurfs. (Don't look at me that way!)

Time Pilot/Mr. Do
The first ad is for Time Pilot and Mr. Do. It simply features a gameplayer trying out both hits while offering his own comments.

"Now playing on Colecovision: Mr. Do and Time Pilot, two of the best new games for the best system made. This is Time Pilot, a battle with aircraft form the past and the future."
"Homing missiles. Got em! Uh oh, blue bombers!"
"And this is Mr. Do. Mow a path to his fruit and start picking but don't get picked off."
"Powerball!"
"Nice shot! Mr. Do and Time Pilot, now playing on Colecovision. THE BEST SYSTEM IN TOWN KEEPS GETTING BETTER."


Game player at work.


"Watch out, evil aircraft!"


What makes you guys so sure?

Smurfs
I know what you're thinking, why would I do the Smurfs? Because it's a Coleco game as a well as a children's cartoon, so quiet! In this ad we find a group of kids enjoying the Smurfs game when the father comes along and sees what's going on. We're then treated to some gameplay screens, as the kids cheer the Smurf on, replacing several words with 'Smurf', just like the Smurfs do. By then end of the ad the father makes a fool out of himself. One of the kids simply says, "Dad, maybe Smurfs is too exciting for you."


"Hey Dad. Check out this Smurfin' game."


The player Smurfs his way to the end.


"Look at me! I'm excited about a children's game."


The father just made a complete Smurf out of himself.

I guess I should address the future of the Commercial Vault. As we may have guessed, Retrogaming Times may not have much of a future left. I've often questioned continuing this feature, but I decided to keep going for right now. Plus the CD-Rom featuring my ads is coming along slowly but surely and should be out by the beginning of next year, if then. That's all for now, so tune in next month for more TV goodness.

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