Video Game Therapy
Welcome to another new addition to the newsletter. We have found that there is a
video game therapist named Dr. I.N. Sane, whose specialty is helping neglected
video game characters to get over their troubles. He has kindly let me sit in
some of these sessions, so I could relate these back to you. This month's
session features Stanley the Bugman from Donkey Kong III. Let us listen in:
Stanley-"Doc, I am
still having the same recurring nightmare."
Dr Sane-"The one with the bees?"
Stanley-"Yes Doc, why do they come after me? I wasn't the one who shook their
Dr Sane-"I see..."
Stanley-"Why don't those bees sting that stinkin ape, right in his big butt? Why
do they attack me?"
Dr Sane-"Stanley we have been through this before. We need to put this behind
us. What else is troubling you?"
Stanley-"It is MAME, Doctor."
Dr Sane-"What is this MAME you speak of?"
Stanley-"It is an arcade emulator that is for the computers."
Dr Sane-"Why does this trouble you?"
Stanley-"Before this MAME, I was finally forgotten. It isn't like Donkey Kong 3
was a big hit or anything. But now people are noticing me again and calling me
that infernal name."
Dr Sane-"I see."
Stanley-"Do you have any idea how hard it is to go through life with the name,
Stanley the Bugman? Its horrible. I finally found a nice girl and we were all
prepared to get married, when this MAME, this stinkin MAME showed up and now
people are calling me the Bugman again."
Dr Sane-"How does your girl feel about this name?"
Stanley-"We used to be so close, regular cuddly wuddly, but now she says I give
her the creeps. Her mother has called off
the wedding. Said she didn't want her daughter marrying any bugman. My life is
in ruins. Why did they have to call me the bugman? Why not Stanley the
Dr Sane-"Have you contacted your former employer about this?"
Stanley-"Nintendo refuses my calls. I am trying to sue them as they promised me
a long career. They said I would be the next Mario, but they lied. But it was a
verbal contract, so no lawyer will touch the case. I'm ruined, ruined." <Stanley
breaks down and cries>
Dr Sane-"Stanley, I think we need to get your girlfriend in here and try to talk
this out. Could you get her here next time?"
Stanley-"I'll try Doc, please help me"
Dr Sane-"We will Stanley, we will"
Tune in next month when we listen in on Jr Pacman
and his troubles. Remember, video game characters have feelings too. If you
want to learn more about Stanley and his woeful ways, check out the Stanley
Tribute Page at