Classic Video Therapy - The Jr
Dr Sane-So what is troubling you today?
Jr Pacman-Doc, I have an inferiority complex, or so my last shrink said, no offense.
Dr Sane-None taken. Did he recommend for you to see me?
Jr Pacman-Yeah Doc, he said you specialized in treating video game characters. Can you help me Doc?
Dr Sane-Let us get to the root of your problem. What makes you feel inferior?
Jr Pacman-Its my parents, Doc, they are like so famous and I am nothing but a footnote.
Dr Sane-And your parents are?
Jr Pacman-Pacman and Ms Pacman, two of the biggest icons in video game history. You would think the son of two such famous people would have it easy, but I don't. Everyone I talk to says "Why wasn't your game as good as your Dad's?" or "Must be great having such a hot momma" and this bothers me.
Dr Sane-I see. Please tell me more.
Jr Pacman-If that isn't bad enough, they had to destroy my self esteem for life.
Dr Sane-How did they accomplish that?
Jr Pacman-Look at this beanie on my head. You may think it is funny or kinda silly, but I am stuck with it. My darn parents stuck that thing on my head as a baby and I cannot get it off. So everywhere I go, people want to stop me and spin the beanie. It is like so embarrassing.
Dr Sane-Why can't you remove the hat?
Jr Pacman-First off, it is glued to my head. Yeah glued. My parents wanted something for people to identify me with and thought this was cute. I hate them, I hate them. The other reason is that I have no hands. Do you have any idea how horrible it is to go through life without appendages? An itch can be murder, I tell ya.
Dr Sane-Have you thought about having the hat removed, plastic surgery can do wonders.
Jr Pacman-The thought crossed my mind, but I am broke. I never got a sequel, there was no merchandise. If it wasn't for a court order, I wouldn't be here. But I got the courts to sue my parents and make them pay for the therapy. But the courts will not pay for the removal of the hat. There really is no justice in the world.
Dr Sane-That is all the time we have this session. Have my secretary make an appointment.
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