Return to Pacland
Chapter One

I don't know about you, but I always wondered what is in the dots and pellets that Pacman so desires and the ghosts are willing to die to protect? There must be something either very tasty or very addictive to cause such a stir. Being one that cannot sleep without knowing, we sent in our special agents to steal some of the contraband and bring it back for analysis.

It may seem easier to steal the stuff than people think. I mean a few well trained mercenaries with sophisticated weapons should be able to easily go in and take what they want. Right? We were wrong, dead wrong.

The first group, consisting of three very experienced and very expensive mercenaries were pixilated and sent in. With today's advanced technology, we were able to create an energizer of sorts that would beam the team into the playing field and be able to beam them back out on a moment's notice. We brought in Chekov and Sulu to help (Neither one is very busy these days and can be hired for a very low price, as long as it isn't weekends. Their weekends are booked for Star Trek conventions) in the running of the show and the teleporter. So without a glitch, we sent our men in to get samples and beam out before Pacman knows what hit him. We figured with the vast amount of dots that he has consumed, he wouldn't miss a few. We were wrong!

As the men materialized into the game, their progress was closely monitored from the home base. The entrance went without a problem and the pixilation process went flawless. As soon as they entered, they went to work. "Combat" and "Air Sea" (secret code names) headed for a power pellet. Combat was to extract it, while Air Sea was lookout. At the same time, "Front Line" headed over to get some dot samples. As he was getting the first of the samples, something happened. The ghosts not only came out of their house, but also the tunnels. It was an ambush! Someone had tipped them off. We quickly sent warnings to the soldiers and prepared to beam them back. But our message was never sent. Seems a blocking device was in place and Ms Pacman herself was halting the signal.

The ghosts quickly descended on the party and it was over in seconds. Our men try to fight the oncoming foe, but the element of surprise and the unstoppable foes were too great an odds for our valiant heroes to try and overcome. Our biggest flaw in the planning was we forget they were ghosts and so convential weapons could not harm them. Before we were able to get them beamed out, they were gone. The ghosts devoured all evidence and left no trace of them ever being there. We were a sadder, but wiser group. Actually it was for the best as the mercenaries would have been upset when they found out that we spent all our money on the equipment and didn't have any left to pay them. We all said a prayer for the fallen comrades and knew that there would be no reset button for our men.

We may have lost the battle, but we weren't going to lose the war. Tune in next month when we head back to the playing field to kick some ghost butt! Who you going to call?

Return to Pacland
Chapter Two

After our disaster mission to retrieve some pellets from Pacman, we licked our wounds and remembered our fallen comrades. It was time to call some professionals. Since we were fighting ghosts, we knew we had to turn to the most known professionals in dealing with supernatural. So, I opened the phone book and looked up the Ghost Busters. So I dialed 1-800 Get-Ghost. Here is what I heard "The Number you have called...has been disconnected". What? What was I to do now? I needed some serious help if I was going to ever get my hands on those pellets. After much soul searching, I decided that I could not risk any more lives. This was my idea and I would complete the mission. I decided to go in alone. If I failed, then the mission would die with me. I wanted no more blood, pixilated or not, on my hands.

After some reconfiguring of the equipment, I was ready to go in. If nothing was gained from the prior mission, it was some knowledge of the enemy. I knew that conventional weapons didn't faze them and if I was to succeed, I needed to either find more sophisticated and deadly weapons or use cunning. These were stupid ghosts I was dealing with and I have seen Pacman outwit them numerous times. All I needed to do was study the game and figure out a strategy.

So I dug up some old books that taught you how to beat Pacman. Then I went and tried them out on the arcade machine. I tried and tried until I had the patterns down. After hours of exhaustive research (some would call it game playing, but it was anything but fun), I was ready! So I headed down to the deployment area and geared up. I only had one assistance, a college student by day and computer hacker by night. The Wizard as he likes to be called, was ready to beam into the game. We checked to make sure the two way radio was working and this time we had a few tricks to keep them from blocking our frequencies.

After saying my prayers, I was beamed down into the game. The first thing you notice when you enter a game is the sheer size of it. The walls must have been fifteen feet high. I truly felt like a man among giants. Gulliver must have felt quite the same way. Once the shock wore off, I prepared to collect the samples. Looking down, I noticed that the dots floated in the air. I grabbed one and it easily came into my grasp. I looked at it and it looked odd. It was flat and thin like a tortilla shell. It had an almost two dimensional look to it. This was surprising as the rest of the area looked very three dimensional. So I grabbed a few of these and secured them into my backpack.

Finished with the first part of the mission, I decided to make contact. "Wiz come in, this is Crazy Climber" I spoke into the mike. Nothing. I sent the message again and still no response. They were blocking our signal again. That is when I went to plan two, I typed in the message on the computer that is built into the arm of my suit. After a few painfully long seconds, a message came back. It was a simple one word message, "RUN!!!!!" as I turned around there was a huge ghost bearing down on me. When I saw him, I quickly realized why the walls are so big. This thing was monstrous! It was nearly the size of an adult elephant and had a look of pure evil in its eyes. It was the red ghost and it was coming for me. I turned and ran as fast as my legs would allow. As I ran, I looked back and realized that it was gaining on me. Remembering the layout of the maze, I made tracks to the tunnel. I knew I couldn't outrun the creature and a escape was necessary. As I turned around a corner, all I could hear was that infernal music playing. The tempo seemed to increase, I don't know if this was my imagination or if the music really was speeding up. The ghost was within a few feet of me when I reached the tunnel. I literally dove into it and felt like I was pulled through. I was quickly deposited on the other side, just in time to see the yellow one coming. I made a quick right turn and headed to get the energizer. As I neared it, I could see that it was glowing. It was large and round, much like a basketball, but it had a eerie glow to it. I went to retrieve it and found it would not move. Unlike the dots, it was firmly stuck in place. I tried again to no avail. I then looked over my shoulder and saw a ghost headed right for me. The worst thing about these creatures is that they make no sound. They appear to float a few feet off the ground.

Realizing that collecting an energizer was a fruitless endeavor, I gave up and headed out. But the time wasted trying to get the energizer only allowed the ghosts to find me. As I tried to escape from the oncoming yellow one, I soon realized my path was blocked by the infuriated red ghost. I typed in quickly, "Beam me out of here!" and waited for the response. After a few seconds, the ghosts were nearly on top of me. There was only a few feet on either side of me and it was closing fast. The message popped up on my screen, "Attempt failed, goodbye". With death on both sides of me, I dropped to the ground and waited for the coming death.

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and wondered if I was dead? I rolled over and looked up and saw the ghosts passing over me. Seems that these creatures cannot move vertically. They can only move back and forth on the same plane. As long as I stayed down here, I was safe. Once they passed over, I sat up and typed in "Still alive, how do I get out?". As the ghosts left in disgust, I stood up and shook myself off. Then the message came "Go to their house, can beam you up there". Great, now I had to go to the ghosts home to get out of here.

As I neared the home, I noticed that they were guarding it. They patrolled back and forth, ensuring I could not get in. Sure I could slide past them, but I didn't want to risk transporting one of them back with me. Who knows what havoc they could wreak in the real world?

Return to Pacland
Chapter 3
AS I watched them patrol their home, I knew I had to pull out some of my tricks to get past them. So I headed back towards the bottom of the screen. It took awhile to get down there, as one does not realize the distance until it is traveled. Once down there, I opened my backpack and pulled out and pulled out an image projector. I placed it down and turned it on. There against the back wall was projected an image of Pacman. I fumbled quickly to resize it and then turned on a tape player of game sounds of Pacman eating dots. I then quickly ran off as the "wacka wacka" sounds could be heard echoing through the maze. I ran for the side and moved my way up towards the house.

As I predicted, the ghosts headed over to attack their enemy. Once they moved off, I headed for the house and jumped in. While I had no idea what to expect, I could never in a million years fathom the sights that laid before me. First off, the house may look small, but it is HUGE! I mean it was cavernous! But that was only a small part of the shock. Inside the home was an enormous pile of bones. As I went over and pulled one of the skeletons out, I noticed it was a skull attached to a very long spine. It was curved in shape and after a quick view, I realized it belonged to a Pacman. How many of these Pacman have died in the years? I couldn't begin to count the skeletons, but I noticed there were different shaped ones. Some were very small and some were quite large. There was even some beanies and bows laying around. I couldn't control myself and felt a dizziness overcoming me.

As I continued to look around, I saw tunnels that led off to somewhere else. The whole area was very dark, only illuminated by some glowing rocks that seemed to line the room. I quickly typed in "Get me the hell out of here!" on the computer. As I waited for the message, I saw the ghosts begin to pour into the room. I knew there were only a few seconds for him to beam me out before I would join the pacmen who have gone before me. As they neared me, I felt a terror going up my spine. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I saw the great creatures bearing down on me. Suddenly, I was transported away, with a second to spare! As I landed back in our world, I fell to my knees and thanked the man upstairs to be out of there. That is one place I did not want to return to.

As I regained my composure, we opened the backpack to take out the dots and analyze them. But as I dug through the backpack, I found they were mysteriously absent. I know I put them in there and at no time could I think of an opportunity where I could have lost them. My only guess is that they do not exist outside of their world and so when I left it, they ceased to exist. My only hope is that the same holds true with the ghosts. If they could exist here and found a way to enter our world, who knows what havoc they could wreak.

The End

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Tom Zjaba 1997 - 2015      

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