Return to Pacland
I don't know about you, but I always wondered what is in the dots and
pellets that Pacman so desires and the ghosts are willing to die to protect?
There must be something either very tasty or very addictive to cause such a
stir. Being one that cannot sleep without knowing, we sent in our special agents
to steal some of the contraband and bring it back for analysis.
It may seem easier to steal the stuff than people think. I mean a few well
trained mercenaries with sophisticated weapons should be able to easily go in
and take what they want. Right? We were wrong, dead wrong.
The first group, consisting of three very experienced and very expensive
mercenaries were pixilated and sent in. With today's advanced technology, we
were able to create an energizer of sorts that would beam the team into the
playing field and be able to beam them back out on a moment's notice. We brought
in Chekov and Sulu to help (Neither one is very busy these days and can be hired
for a very low price, as long as it isn't weekends. Their weekends are booked
for Star Trek conventions) in the running of the show and the teleporter. So
without a glitch, we sent our men in to get samples and beam out before Pacman
knows what hit him. We figured with the vast amount of dots that he has
consumed, he wouldn't miss a few. We were wrong!
As the men materialized into the game, their progress was closely monitored from
the home base. The entrance went without a problem and the pixilation process
went flawless. As soon as they entered, they went to work. "Combat" and "Air
Sea" (secret code names) headed for a power pellet. Combat was to extract it,
while Air Sea was lookout. At the same time, "Front Line" headed over to get
some dot samples. As he was getting the first of the samples, something
happened. The ghosts not only came out of their house, but also the tunnels. It
was an ambush! Someone had tipped them off. We quickly sent warnings to the
soldiers and prepared to beam them back. But our message was never sent. Seems a
blocking device was in place and Ms Pacman herself was halting the signal.
The ghosts quickly descended on the party and it was over in seconds. Our men
try to fight the oncoming foe, but the element of surprise and the unstoppable
foes were too great an odds for our valiant heroes to try and overcome. Our
biggest flaw in the planning was we forget they were ghosts and so convential
weapons could not harm them. Before we were able to get them beamed out, they
were gone. The ghosts devoured all evidence and left no trace of them ever being
there. We were a sadder, but wiser group. Actually it was for the best as the
mercenaries would have been upset when they found out that we spent all our
money on the equipment and didn't have any left to pay them. We all said a
prayer for the fallen comrades and knew that there would be no reset button for
We may have lost the battle, but we weren't going to lose the war. Tune in next
month when we head back to the playing field to kick some ghost butt! Who you
going to call?
Return to Pacland
After our disaster mission to retrieve some pellets from
Pacman, we licked our wounds and remembered our fallen comrades. It was time to
call some professionals. Since we were fighting ghosts, we knew we had to turn
to the most known professionals in dealing with supernatural. So, I opened the
phone book and looked up the Ghost Busters. So I dialed 1-800 Get-Ghost. Here is
what I heard "The Number you have called...has been disconnected". What? What
was I to do now? I needed some serious help if I was going to ever get my hands
on those pellets. After much soul searching, I decided that I could not risk any
more lives. This was my idea and I would complete the mission. I decided to go
in alone. If I failed, then the mission would die with me. I wanted no more
blood, pixilated or not, on my hands.
After some reconfiguring of the equipment, I was ready to go in. If nothing was
gained from the prior mission, it was some knowledge of the enemy. I knew that
conventional weapons didn't faze them and if I was to succeed, I needed to
either find more sophisticated and deadly weapons or use cunning. These were
stupid ghosts I was dealing with and I have seen Pacman outwit them numerous
times. All I needed to do was study the game and figure out a strategy.
So I dug up some old books that taught you how to beat Pacman. Then I went and
tried them out on the arcade machine. I tried and tried until I had the patterns
down. After hours of exhaustive research (some would call it game playing, but
it was anything but fun), I was ready! So I headed down to the deployment area
and geared up. I only had one assistance, a college student by day and computer
hacker by night. The Wizard as he likes to be called, was ready to beam into the
game. We checked to make sure the two way radio was working and this time we had
a few tricks to keep them from blocking our frequencies.
After saying my prayers, I was beamed down into the game. The first thing you
notice when you enter a game is the sheer size of it. The walls must have been
fifteen feet high. I truly felt like a man among giants. Gulliver must have felt
quite the same way. Once the shock wore off, I prepared to collect the samples.
Looking down, I noticed that the dots floated in the air. I grabbed one and it
easily came into my grasp. I looked at it and it looked odd. It was flat and
thin like a tortilla shell. It had an almost two dimensional look to it. This
was surprising as the rest of the area looked very three dimensional. So I
grabbed a few of these and secured them into my backpack.
Finished with the first part of the mission, I decided to make contact. "Wiz
come in, this is Crazy Climber" I spoke into the mike. Nothing. I sent the
message again and still no response. They were blocking our signal again. That
is when I went to plan two, I typed in the message on the computer that is built
into the arm of my suit. After a few painfully long seconds, a message came
back. It was a simple one word message, "RUN!!!!!" as I turned around there was
a huge ghost bearing down on me. When I saw him, I quickly realized why the
walls are so big. This thing was monstrous! It was nearly the size of an adult
elephant and had a look of pure evil in its eyes. It was the red ghost and it
was coming for me. I turned and ran as fast as my legs would allow. As I ran, I
looked back and realized that it was gaining on me. Remembering the layout of
the maze, I made tracks to the tunnel. I knew I couldn't outrun the creature and
a escape was necessary. As I turned around a corner, all I could hear was that
infernal music playing. The tempo seemed to increase, I don't know if this was
my imagination or if the music really was speeding up. The ghost was within a
few feet of me when I reached the tunnel. I literally dove into it and felt like
I was pulled through. I was quickly deposited on the other side, just in time to
see the yellow one coming. I made a quick right turn and headed to get the
energizer. As I neared it, I could see that it was glowing. It was large and
round, much like a basketball, but it had a eerie glow to it. I went to retrieve
it and found it would not move. Unlike the dots, it was firmly stuck in place. I
tried again to no avail. I then looked over my shoulder and saw a ghost headed
right for me. The worst thing about these creatures is that they make no sound.
They appear to float a few feet off the ground.
Realizing that collecting an energizer was a fruitless endeavor, I gave up and
headed out. But the time wasted trying to get the energizer only allowed the
ghosts to find me. As I tried to escape from the oncoming yellow one, I soon
realized my path was blocked by the infuriated red ghost. I typed in quickly,
"Beam me out of here!" and waited for the response. After a few seconds, the
ghosts were nearly on top of me. There was only a few feet on either side of me
and it was closing fast. The message popped up on my screen, "Attempt failed,
goodbye". With death on both sides of me, I dropped to the ground and waited for
the coming death.
After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and wondered if I was dead? I rolled over
and looked up and saw the ghosts passing over me. Seems that these creatures
cannot move vertically. They can only move back and forth on the same plane. As
long as I stayed down here, I was safe. Once they passed over, I sat up and
typed in "Still alive, how do I get out?". As the ghosts left in disgust, I
stood up and shook myself off. Then the message came "Go to their house, can
beam you up there". Great, now I had to go to the ghosts home to get out of
As I neared the home, I noticed that they were guarding it. They patrolled back
and forth, ensuring I could not get in. Sure I could slide past them, but I
didn't want to risk transporting one of them back with me. Who knows what havoc
they could wreak in the real world?
Return to Pacland
AS I watched them patrol
their home, I knew I had to pull out some of my tricks to get past them. So I
headed back towards the bottom of the screen. It took awhile to get down there,
as one does not realize the distance until it is traveled. Once down there, I
opened my backpack and pulled out and pulled out an image projector. I placed it
down and turned it on. There against the back wall was projected an image of
Pacman. I fumbled quickly to resize it and then turned on a tape player of game
sounds of Pacman eating dots. I then quickly ran off as the "wacka wacka" sounds
could be heard echoing through the maze. I ran for the side and moved my way up
towards the house.
As I predicted, the ghosts headed over to attack their
enemy. Once they moved off, I headed for the house and jumped in. While I had no
idea what to expect, I could never in a million years fathom the sights that
laid before me. First off, the house may look small, but it is HUGE! I mean it
was cavernous! But that was only a small part of the shock. Inside the home was
an enormous pile of bones. As I went over and pulled one of the skeletons out, I
noticed it was a skull attached to a very long spine. It was curved in shape and
after a quick view, I realized it belonged to a Pacman. How many of these Pacman
have died in the years? I couldn't begin to count the skeletons, but I noticed
there were different shaped ones. Some were very small and some were quite
large. There was even some beanies and bows laying around. I couldn't control
myself and felt a dizziness overcoming me.
As I continued to look around, I saw tunnels that led
off to somewhere else. The whole area was very dark, only illuminated by some
glowing rocks that seemed to line the room. I quickly typed in "Get me the hell
out of here!" on the computer. As I waited for the message, I saw the ghosts
begin to pour into the room. I knew there were only a few seconds for him to
beam me out before I would join the pacmen who have gone before me. As they
neared me, I felt a terror going up my spine. The hair on the back of my neck
stood on end as I saw the great creatures bearing down on me. Suddenly, I was
transported away, with a second to spare! As I landed back in our world, I fell
to my knees and thanked the man upstairs to be out of there. That is one place I
did not want to return to.
As I regained my composure, we opened the backpack to
take out the dots and analyze them. But as I dug through the backpack, I found
they were mysteriously absent. I know I put them in there and at no time could I
think of an opportunity where I could have lost them. My only guess is that they
do not exist outside of their world and so when I left it, they ceased to exist.
My only hope is that the same holds true with the ghosts. If they could exist
here and found a way to enter our world, who knows what havoc they could wreak.