Welcome to Classic Ads!
(Currently there are 152 different ads)

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Here you will find the timeless ads that haunted our youth!  Sea Monkeys, tiny soldiers, Grit and more can be found here!  Take a gander and feel the years melt away!

3-D He-Man - Remember if you are not muscle bound, you are 2D.

7-Up Jungle - See how the cool, refreshing taste of 7-Up can even tame the king of the beasts.

7-Up Traffic Jam - See the classic spokesman...err spokesbird, Fresh Up Freddie deal with a traffic jam.

Abdo-Slim - One of the many girdles that slimmed women's waists.  And the ads fueled young boy's imagination, among other things.

Air Combat Goggles - Buy Bazooka gum and you could get your own set of Air Combat Goggles! 

Alien Eye - You can command this 7 foot alien eye.  If by command, it means pulling around this oversized balloon, then I guess you are commanding it.

Ant Farm - Look mommy, we have ants in our house!  The fun toy that gave your mother the creeps!

Aqua Circus - The same thing as the Sea Monkeys, only not as well drawn.

Army Test - Yes, there was a time when people really wanted to join the army.  A book like that would not sell today.

Baby Raccoon - What better pet to get a kid than a rabies carrying raccoon?  What were they thinking?

Baby Ruth #1 - A classic commercial for a classic candy bar.  Poor old Snowman, he gets no candy.

Baby Ruth #2 - Another classic commercial.  This time it has a feel of the Little Rascals (remember how they always came up with ingenious ways to power their vehicles).

Baby Ruth #3 - A real nice ad with a bunch of kids being cowboys.  Even the chicken wants a Baby Ruth bar.

Baby Ruth #4 - This time it is kangaroos enjoying Baby Ruth bars.  Didn't know they were so popular with the animal kingdom.

Baby Ruth #5 - This time the candy bar got an NFL coach to hawk the candy bars.

Baby Ruth #6 - Polly wants a cracker is so 19th century.  Modern parrots want Baby Ruth!

Baby Ruth #7 - Nice picture of a fighter plane.  What it has to do with Baby Ruth is anyone's guess.

Baby Ruth #8 - The boy on the rocket is cute, but I like the talking bird.  Though if a bird saw a kid on a rocket going by, they would probably say something else.

Baby Ruth #9 - This time a boy is flying a space ship.  Nice artwork.

Baby Ruth #10 - Not sure what a tank buster is?  This ad will teach you and also make you want to buy a Baby Ruth candy bar.

Baby Turtle - Get your own baby turtle.  And when you are tired of it, you can make soup.

Be An Artist - An old version of the ad where you can be an artist.  More interesting than a picture of a doggie.

Be Taller - This is one of a dozen ads that promised to make you taller.  Did they work?  Look at the NBA for proof.  Just kidding.

Belly Flattener - This was considered risqué back in the day.  A woman in her underwear.  Sure, she is only a drawing but I bet boys kept this comic hidden along with their Sears catalogs.

Big Bull Whip - Gotta love the line - "Great for training animals and pets."  PETA would not approve.

Bobby Benson Lighters - Gotta love an ad that makes you think you need to smoke and have a classy lighter to pick up girls. 

Bombs Away - Get your own cardboard cockpit and practice your bombing raids.  What a present for the little war monger in your family.

Book of Etiquette - Confused about which fork is which?  This book will help you look sophisticated.

Bow-Lite Tie - Nothing says you are a geek more than this tie.  Guaranteed to get you beat up.

Bras - Yeah, an ad for bras for women of all different bust sizes. 

Brownie Camera - One of the most popular cameras of all-time.

Build a Hot Rod - I know things were cheaper then, but a Hot Rod for a buck?  Give me a break.

Buy War Bonds - There was a time when people wanted to give money to the government.

Camel Cigarettes - Cigarettes advertised in comics?  Well, it was a crime comic aimed at an older audience.  Guess if Hollywood can still promote smoking in movies, it should not be such a shock.

CB Radio - A big 10-4 to the CB Radio.  I remember being a kid and everyone had to have a handle.  Sure, I didn't have a CB Radio, but I still had my handle.  I think it was Red Dragon or something like that.

Chameleon Circus - Mine was lost in the mail for awhile and when it finally arrived the only trick he did was play dead.

Charles Atlas - What collection of classic ads would be complete without an ad from Charles Atlas? 

Charles Atlas #2 - This time it is Jack the Weakling battling the Dance Floor Hog.  Another classic ad with everyone's favorite muscle man.

Charles Atlas #3 - Another skinny guy who needs Charles help. 

Chewing Gum Diet - Yeah, they had weight loss gimmicks like this back then.  Some things never change.

Chugga Mota - For kids who want the motorcycle sound on their bike but don't want to ruin their baseball cards.

Circus Tent - Finally an ad that shows a more realistic depiction of what you will receive, a small tent.

Cracker Jack Magnetic Car - Meatloaf said you couldn't find a Coupe DeVille in the bottom of a cracker jack box but you can get a magnetic car. 

Clyde Beatty Animal Club - Join the famed lion tamer, Clyde Beatty will give you a lizard for joining his club.

Dick Tracy Two Way Wrist Radio - A cool device that every boy wanted back then.  Primitive by today's standards but still cool!

Draw Bob Hope - We had to have one of these drawing ads.  I chose one with the legendary Bob Hope.

Dwarf Trees - Yeah, these miniature trees were popular before Karate Kid.

Electric Baseball - A nifty looking electronic board game of baseball.  Just don't play while in the tub.

Eveready Battery #1 - Somewhat comical ad for a battery that has been around for ages.

Eveready Battery #2 - Another military based comical ad. 

Facial Hair - Wonder how many kids ordered this so they could look older and buy Playboys and beer?  And how many were laughed at by the clerks who could tell they were made of dog hair.

Fiesta Dress - Gee golly whiz is she excited by her dress.  If she only knew that it was made in a sweatshop.

Fireworks - A disturbing ad for firecrackers and other fireworks that is aimed at young kids.  Wonder how many accidents were due to this ad?

Flexible Flyer - Great Ad for the classic sled.

Flying Saucer - One of the classic ads from an era when flying saucers were a big deal.

Frank Sinatra Bracelet - Bet this has some value on ebay.

Free One Million Dollars - We all dreamed that our bag would be real money.

Free Stamps - This is the same deal you saw on matchbooks.  This one even features an Adolph Hitler stamp.

Frontier Cabin - How gullible do they think we are?  A cabin for the price of a cup of coffee? 

Gag Gifts - What collection of classic ads would be complete without a page of gag gifts?  I actually had someone try that hot gum on me. 

Gahoon - I know it says it is an instrument, but look at the glazed look in the guy's eyes and tell me that it not hooked to some kind of bong.

Get Along With Boys - A very dated ad about a book that was probably written by men.

Glamorous Curves - I miss when curvy women were considered beautiful.

Government Jobs - Back when the government had jobs.  Those were the days.

Grow 7 Monsters - If you were like me, you wanted to have your own monsters.  I never thought about what I would do with the creature, especially when it got big and wanted to devour my family.  I just thought about how cool I would be with my own monster. 

Hand Shadows - Did you know that you could become rich and famous from doing hand shadows?  Me neither.

Haunting Record - The spooky record was perfect for Halloween or ruining your sister's slumber party.

Hey, Mindy! - Poor Mindy has a coming out party and a bad case of acne.  What will Mork think?

Hovercraft - My mom stopped me from wasting my money on this.  To be young and naive again.

How To Hypnotize - Read the description and tell me that didn't encourage boys to buy it inappropriate reasons.

Hypno-Coin - What classic section is complete without a Hypno-Coin?  How many young men dreamed of using this on their girlfriends?

Inflatable Doll - That is right, they were selling blowup dolls in comic books.  I don't know how anatomically correct this one is?  By the way, this ad gets more hits than any other one, I wonder why?

Insect Collecting Kit - The present every mother wants to buy her kids.  Not!

Jet Rocket - Another in the long line of cardboard vehicles for kids.  Can withstand anything but rain.  And your little brother.

Joe Namath Dingo Boots - Wear these boots and you can stop crime and hang out with celebrities.  Honest!

Joe Weider starring Arnold Schwarzenegger #1 - The governor shows off his powerful arms.  Order now sissy man.

Joe Weider starring Arnold Schwarzenegger #2 - What better way to get boys to order than show them a hot woman like this? 

Juicy Fruit Gum - Gotta love an ad for gum that says "helps keep your teeth clean."  At least they give some good safety advice.

Juicy Fruit Gum Swimming - Here is some advice on being safe while swimming.  Swimming and chewing gum at the same time would probably be a good bet.

Junior Television - Not sure how good this works but I bet it is worth some major bucks on ebay.  Looks pretty cool.

Karate - I looked around and realized that I did not have a single martial arts ad.  Consider that rectified.

Kooba Cola - The long forgotten cola (no, I am not talking about RC Cola), with the strange name.  It was so forgotten that it was never made.

Kooba Cola #2 - Another ad for the product that was never made.  At least King Cola came out.

Kryptonite - The ad would not scan well, but you get the idea.   You can buy Kryptonite from a comic and be ready to stop Superman in his tracks!   This could have been the start of the pet rock craze.

Learn Guitar - I don't think this is the same kit that Eric Clapton learned from. 

Learn Harmonica - The first step to becoming a hobo is to learn how to play the harmonica.  I don't know what the second step is.

Learn to Dance - Gotta love the woman sitting there with the left over food.  Funny image.

Leopard Seat Cover - Take tacky to your car.  Guaranteed to get looks and comments.

Live Sea Horses - Wonder how many arrived dead?  Sending timid sea creatures through the mail sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Lone Ranger Pen Set - How many pen sets come in a leather holder that looks like a gun belt?  Bet it would be illegal to take to school today.

Louisville Slugger - The world's most famous baseball bat with Johnny Bench as the pitchman. 

Lucky Clover - Know those cheesy ads for Chia Pets you see on television?  Well, here is the predecessor to the Chia Pet.

Lucky Grab Bag - Gotta love a grab bag that is offered from a company named Honesty.  Think that was done on purpose?

Lucky Ludens - What cough drops have to do with a haunted house is anyone's guess.

Major Mars Rocket Ring - Don't know who he is, but his ring is pretty cool.

Make Your Own Model - I always found that any toy that allows you to make your own usually sucks.  That or I have no skills.  I will go with the former, makes me feel better.

Man From U.N.C.L.E. Spy Pen - A pen that sees through walls.  Yeah, right.

Marble King - The book may make you a marble king, but the crown is not included.

Mattel Barbells - See little Johnny and Suzie get their first dose of weightlifting.

Military Medals - 40 medals and insignias for $1.49?  Makes you wish you had a time machine.  I ask where they got all these medals? 

Milky Way #1 - The first candy bar ad features two kids in a tree house. 

Milky Way #2 - This Valentines ad features a hungry heart.  Not the same one that Bruce sang about.

Milky Way #3 - The third ad is Easter themed with eggs with faces on them.  I always thought it was the other way around?

Minature Dog - Not the best scan but it was sent to me this way.  I touched it up as much as I could.  Wonder how many of these dogs died in the mail?  Or how many kids received a leaking package?

Monark Bikes - It is not only a cool bike, but it will help you earn money!  It says so in the ad. 

Monster Blood - Fake blood that disappears soon after you throw it on someone.  Probably not quick enough to avoid a punch in the nose.

Monster Size Posters - Gotta like when a buck could buy you a giant poster of Frankenstein.  I miss those days.

Monster From Space - A giant talking monster from space for only a buck!  Sounds like a better deal than a double cheeseburger at McDonalds.

Moon Monster - A very scary looking beast!  Sure it was only a poster, but what a poster.

Movie Stars Photos - Some big names in this ad, but none bigger than Elvis Presley.  Yeah, he was a movie star.  Over 50 movies.

Muscles #1 - I had alot of requests for ads of muscle building programs and karate.  So here is one for you.

Muscles #2 - Another ad of muscle bound men.  Hope you are happy.

O.J. Dingo - Check out O.J. Simpson in those Dingo boots!  i would insert a really bad pun here, but I figure I will leave that you to.  So go right ahead!

OJ Simpson and Spot-Bilt Shoes - When someone makes the news as much as OJ, you gotta have more than one ad.  I miss the OJ who did commercials for car rentals and bad movies.

OJ Simpson and Spot-Bilt Shoes #2 - Another ad featuring the most infamous football player of all-time.

Pet Monkey - File this under disaster waiting to happen.  While Squirrel Monkeys may look cute, they can be very nasty animals.  Wonder how many unsuspecting families ended up with one of these biting, scratching, poop flinging beasts?

PF Shoes and the Escaped Bear - If you come across an escaped bear, these are the shoes to wear.  I personally would want to have a shotgun or a jet-pack, but I guess these shoes would come in a close third.

Play Piano - Learn the piano and you will be popular as the ad says.  Well, it worked for Liberache and Billy Joel.

Polaris Sub - I wanted one of these in the worst way.  I dreamed of sailing around Lake Erie and scaring unsuspecting boaters.  Ah, the dreams of the youth!

Post Sugar Crisps Railroad Emblems - A great ad for Post Sugar Crisps cereal and their premium, which is railroad emblems.  Great picture of many logos of railroad companies that are gone but not forgotten.

Quail Eggs - Eggs and an incubator through the mail sounds like the recipe for a bad omelet. 

Rare Coins - Every kid saw one of these ads in a comic book and for the next week, you looked at every coin that you came in contact with, hoping that you could find that rare and valuable coin.  If you were like me, all you ended up with was a pocketful of worthless pennies and shattered dreams.

Reduce Busts - Yes, there was a time when women wanted smaller busts.  Somewhere a plastic surgeon is reading this and shuddering.

Rice Krispies Treat - Here is an ad where you can learn to make possibly the easiest dessert ever created.  Great for last minute bake sales.

Roy Rogers Shirt - There was a time when a shirt like this gave you major street cred.  Not anymore.

Save Your Hair - Gotta love a hair loss ad that has a monster hand attacking the scalp.

Sea Monkeys - The pet that is easy to care for and easy to dispose of.  Flush!

Sea World - Remember when the DC Heroes were water-skiing around Sea World?  You don't?  Well, check this ad out and see what you missed!

Sell Shoes - I know it was a different time, but if someone came to my door now trying to sell shoes, I would just laugh.

Shrunken Head - Vincent Price hawks the spooky product!  Secret, they are really apples, not your little brother's head.

Skinny Legs - Want to turn your skinny legs into shapely legs?  This was the ad for you. 

Skittle Bowl - My childhood idol, Roger Staubach, showing us the secrets behind his success.

Spa Suit - Want to lose weight and look silly at the same time?  Then this item is for you.

Space Shoes - They are just sandals with springs on them.  Can you say broken ankles?  You will if you wear these.

Spalding Street Ball - A classic ad with Rick Barry and Dr. J.  I remember doing a comedy sketch on cassette tape of this commercial with my Cousin Bobby when we were young. 

Stan Musial - See Stan the Man hawking shoes with his son.

Stop Smoking - Even back then, they knew how bad it was.  Don't get tobacco heart.

Success Winning Voice - If you're gonna be a loser, at least be a loser with a successful voice.

Switchblade Comb - Its a comb that can get you arrested.  At least your hair will look good in your mugshot.

Tank - Get your own mobile tank!  Really, for $4.95 you can have a working tank.  Granted it was probably made of cardboard and a single rainstorm would destroy it, but who cares, you had your own tank!

Texas Ranch - That's right, you can own a whole square inch in Texas!  What can you raise on a ranch that small?  Baby corn?

Toy Soldiers - I had a neighbor who ordered these teeny, tiny pieces of scrap plastic.  The father of the MicroMachines.

U.S. Royal in Bamboozling the Bank Robbers - US Royal and his rocket powered bike stop bank robbers.  Cool stuff.

U.S. Royal in Lassoing a Lion - This time US Royal goes after an escaped lion.

U.S. Royal in Sabotaging the Saboteur - Another fun adventure of the man and his rocket powered bike.  Sorta the predecessor to Pee Wee Herman and his bike.

Vampire Bat - Sure it has googly eyes and is made of rubber, but it is scary!  Very scary!

Venus Flytrap - The classic carnivorous plant!  Feed me!

Vitalis Hair Cream - If it is good enough for Bert Parks, it is good enough for you.

Walt Disney Masks - These were cutout masks on the back of Wheaties boxes.  Of all the Disney characters they had to choose from, why did they pick Lucifer the cat?

Western Mystery Horse - Here is a very old cereal and a pretty cool looking premium. 

Write Love Letters - So what if you talk like a moron, if you can write a good love letter, she will swoon. 

X-Ray Glasses - Every adolescent boy dreamed of a working pair of these.   Too bad they were only a gag gift. 

Yankees Muscle Power - A booklet on exercise and muscle power with a bunch of athletes pushing it.  Included are three Yankees greats - Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Whitey Ford.

Zombie Mask - Now this is one butt ugly mask.  If this doesn't scare mom, then nothing will.


Note: These ads and their images are the rights of their respective owners.  We merely post them for your enjoyment!  Please don't hurt me Mr. Atlas.  Even if you are probably about 90 years old, I still fear you.

 

 
 

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